Caitlin Baker
Born A Baker

About Me

My mother is also a gossip and I find it easiest just not to tell her anything important. My mom was never able to respect my requests to keep information in confidence. Sadly, while you should be able to get that kind of support from your mom, you're not going to get it from your mom. Limit the information you share My mother has a huge mouth and can't keep her toxic opinion to herself.


For this reason, I tell her very little and anything I do tell her is boring as watching paint dry. I had to stop sharing anything I wished to remain private with her, and with my siblings who would use juicy info to court her favor. My mom has a gossiping problem. My mom is like that. There is no way to tell your mom things AND have any privacy. I don't really have any advice, other than just try to firmly and calmly say: I don't want to hear any gossip please." She doesn't care how it affects you, she'll blab to your whole family because it gives her Narc supply.


I found out that all my cousins know I'm seeing a therapist, and it was very embarrassing and shameful.


Oh I'm sure she could censor, she just has no reason to want to because she's an awful human being. It's like they're willing to betray the people they supposedly care about just so they can tell a good story. It usually goes like this: Me: My hubby and I are going to a party so we can't come that day to-- Nmom: What party? with a laugh That's why I quit telling my mom things. She will literally talk about me in front of me to her brothers and sisters, but in her language so I don't fully understand. So try and avoid talking to her about yourself, especially if it's anything you don't want her to blab about to the family. Also, I think you have to accept that your mother will never ever give you the support you want. It got me really bothered as a kid, but I just thought I was a horrible person who annoyed my mother.


That's your business and your business ALONE and her breaching your privacy and trust like that is an ass move. Knowing I wouldn't see it or be able to remove myself from it because I was at my dad's with no internet. You are going to be alone, but in the long run its going to make you stronger then your relatives. Many hugs to you, I think all you can do is to talk less about yourself to your mother. I don't even know what half the lies were, I just know it was bad enough that people thought they were justified in hurting me, even teachers. I didn't know 90% of the kids who hurt me, but they all seemed to know me. Fight fire with fire: create a tumbler account where you track where, how often, and how long she shits. It's not the same as having a human to talk to face to face, but its better then nothing. The only way to keep her from telling everyone your business is for her to be ignorant of it.


If you feel your dad or sister would keep things confidential, try them. I wish I could talk to her openly, sure, but I can't change who she is or how she interacts with other people. You will have no inner peace until you let go of the natural desire for her to be maternal and loving. My mom's entire side of the family are all gossips. You will need to seek the nurture and friendship and support elsewhere, and it is so very important that you seek it.


"My therapist says I should teach a Tai Chi class for the blind. I feel your pain, and I am very sorry your mother is telling others about health issues. It is often a difficult step to make, but taking that step is a brave and positive thing to do. I've found that the best solution is to tell my NMom as little as possible about myself, especially anything that's emotionally important to me. My mum worked in my school for a time and she had the same problem. If she's going to gossip about me I give her as little as possible to gossip about. There is simply no support with Nmom, nothing positive.Sharing anything with her just isn't worth the stress. They started all the crap in that town when I was 6/7 and isolated me from the other kids.


They don't care to offer support unless it benefits them in some way. Also if they would make seeing a therapist shameful and embarrassing then they are obviously abusive people with a problem.